Blogging

The ultimate CEO blog explains the meaning of life

Kristine Lowe

20 Nov 2007 — 1 min read

It was perhaps a bit improper to blog this on a Sunday as I intended, hence I conveniently forgot to publish it until today, but I stumbled across this CEO blog, which, hang on, is not just yet another of those boring CEO blogs, but may with some justification be called the ultimate CEO blog (via Jackie Danicki).

After all, this particular CEO has 6.6 billion potential customers, and even though he is believed to be able to read our minds and know all our questions in advance, this blogger is going for 'a more transparent and accountable method'. From the mission statement: ".. every Wednesday I’ll give you the opportunity to ask me, the Lord God Almighty, questions and I’ll try to answer them as best I can. I should warn you that my ways are so mysterious that I sometimes baffle myself. But ask away!"

And, in the words of Jackie, when "God is a British CEO", this is the sort of common sense answers you get to such mind-boggling questions as that one about the ever elusive meaning of life:

The meaning of life is a performance review that I use to ensure constant improvement and growth.

Well, the word “life” is a noun and describes the opposite state to dead. You are alive and you do stuff and when your life is over it will have no meaning to you because you are then dead. Then you come to me and have a chat about things – and this is the meaning of life performance review.

In the performance reviews we sit down and carefully examine your life, what you did with it and if you generated any value for others, the kingdom of heaven or me. When you get here you are allocated a line manager and he talks you through the results of your review as we see them and gives you the chance to give your side of the story. Together we decide your future within my organisation.

In another post, the almighty blogger slags off Seth Godin for suggesting that all problems can be quickly outlined, and in the comment field we learn that Satan is working part time as a middle manager with McCanns - somehow I think many people already suspected that.

Unfortunately, this transparency experiment seems to have been shortlived: no posts since the end of August.

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